Education first, love second. Let me first say that love isn't so much a distraction for me as it is my support. All is well if you know how to balance the two and make compromises. So of course you can have both. BUT if you had to prioritize, education should come first (for now)... because love isn't always stable and can't always support you. It can't pay your bills or keep food on your plate (unless you're marrying rich and intend on being a housewife, but that's risky to me). Again, I'm not saying love should always come second, because relationship is about compromise... But the main point is to not put so much of your focus into it, that it ends up being a distraction... and you end up with one thing without the other. Of course when education is done, that's a different story.
Friendship first, then comes love. I don't intend on falling for someone I hardly know... I dislike dating, it's so awkward and almost ritualistic... Best to be with someone who's there for you, cares for you, someone you laugh and enjoy time being with. Someone you've shared your secrets with, no baggage or surprises there. Who best to fall in love with than with your best friend? For me to really consider someone, I need to have a sure feeling that we can work. That this isn't just temporary. And there's no better way to stand the test of time than starting with friendship.
I laugh at people sometimes. The people who spend their time dreaming of success, of 2 story houses with white picket fences. The people who turn their heads to admire a nice sports car that passes them by. And it happens all the time. It's almost pathetic, how boys and girls talk of it: "Oohh, Jonathan is so-and-so. But he drives a 350Z." How superficial is that? A person's quality is realized only through the machinery he drives. I realize, yes, we all take part in a capitalistic society where competition pushes us to be superficial. In order to want to climb to the top, we have to want the luxury house, the luxury car, the dream life. So when anyone insults our demeanor, we say: "I have this luxury house. The luxury car. I don't care what you say about me". Yes, this ego, this pride is the very thing that I think diminishes humanity's quality of life. We don't care who we are, but what we have. For most of us, especially in children, that's what defines our importance. Here is where I laugh, because I see through it all, it doesn't matter what car you drive or how many houses you have, it doesn't define who you are as a person. Therefore I'm not interested when any of my friends tell me to check out a nice car, or tell me who has one. It's superficial to care.
Love. Love is overrated. I no longer believe that there is one knight in shining armor meant to rescue me. There are many actually, and you choose who rescues you.
Is love real? I start this with a quote: "What is real? If real is what you can feel, smell, taste and see, then 'real' is simply electrical signals interpreted by your brain." By this definition, you can love more than one person. You can feel for more than one person after all. How you feel for someone is based on how you connect in your relationship with each other.
So I believe that you can love more than one person. But there will always only be one 'great' love. The one that outshines the rest. No one puts it better than Miss Walrus did:
"I've slowly started to believe that love is less about finding "the One" - & more about ACCEPTING & LOVING someone so much that they just..BECOME everything you want. I now believe that you can pretty much find lots of things to connect with others about & being in a relationship with another person is simply about finding someone who you are willing to accept, love & cherish - regardless of their flaws. No one is going to come along & be perfect from the get-go. Instead, you just have to constantly remind yourself that they don't have to - & neither do you.
So basically what I'm saying is, I believe we can love anybody. I really & truly do. Maybe the love we feel for certain people will feel different - like a friendship kind of love - or maybe we'll even start to feel ourselves falling for someone we normally wouldn't (girl crush, anyone?). But either way, I think that this idea of our one-and-only-true-soulmate should be thrown out the window. Instead, I think we should just look around us for the people in our lives who make our hearts go pitter-patter & try to give them all the love we got - until one day we find someone we want to give our love to for as long as we live."
Which of the following would make you break up with your love interest?
[x] If s/he cheated on me. If s/he lied to me about something really important. If s/he pressured me to do things knowing I was not ready or that I was against them. If our religious differences became to much of a strain on our relationship. If s/he ever physically hurt me. If s/he became emotionally abusive. All or any of the above.
I read every single choice, and the only one I clicked on was if he cheated on me. You'd think I'd choose All or any of the above, right? I would think so too. But I thought about it, and realized that I'm still in a relationship even though one or more of those answers have happened to me.
And I think I know why. I've been lied to, but I've forgiven and that's how you learn to build up trust. I guess you can say you gotta break it to build it. Kinda like breaking an old bridge to build a better, stronger one. And pressure... well, no one can make me do something if I didn't kind of want to do it myself. If he pressures me to do something, and I want to do it to please him... I mean, it's not a good enough reason for me to break up a relationship. As for religion... as long as we both believe that we will be together after we die, that's what matters, not whether there is heaven or hell or not. As for abuse.. I'm used to abuse, emotional and physical. I've received a lot of it from my mom, to the point where I can tolerate it in a relationship and it doesn't become a dealbreaker. So yeah. Cheating is pretty much the only no-no in my book.
